Hey Deion, I have a question.
Assuming I’m allowed to ask you questions? I have been critical of your program in the past…Is that ok? I know it’s hard to take criticism…I mean you haven’t handled it great thus far during your time in Boulder. Shit, was that too harsh Deion? Am I still allowed to ask you a question? I mean god forbid someone criticizes you after your historic 4-8 season last year (1-8 in the Pac-12). I mean you’ve done so much! Lil’ Wayne on campus…nice! The Rock wearing a CU jersey. Twitter went crazy for that one! CU football is relevant because of you Deion. I congratulate you for that.
So did I kiss your ass enough to be allowed to ask a question? Yeah? Sick!
Hey Deion…what if you lose to North Dakota State tomorrow?
Or Nebraska the next week?
Or, god forbid, Colorado State the week after that?
I guess that was 3 questions…Is that alright? I don’t want to upset you Deion, I know anything but praise from the media (I’m not the media) is tough to handle…It’s hard, right? Answering tough questions. Questions that don’t fit your narrative or ones that are complimentary of you or your program. I hate hard questions too! Arghhh!
So you haven’t answered yet…What would happen? Would you ban more media members from asking questions? Would you disown your son, Shedeur? You wouldn’t disown your own son, would you Deion?
You obviously wouldn’t get fired, we all know that. CU wouldn’t possibly let go of Prime Time, who’s generating so much loot for the Buffs and the City of Boulder.
So what would happen?
I’m afraid to say it Deion, because I know you wouldn’t like the answer, but I think I know what would happen…
If this season doesn’t start out great for your Buffs Deion, the same ones who went 4-8 last year, I’m afraid you might have to….
Shoot, I don’t know if you’re ready to hear this Deion. It’s like your least favorite thing in the world. Ok fine, we’ve gotten this far…
Deion, if this season doesn’t start out great…with your son in his final year as quarterback leading the team that you’ve built…coming off a season where you and your team talked an enormous amount of shit during your whopping 4 victories…
IF this happens…you might have to (you might want to cover your eyes/ears for this)…
Deion, you might have to take some criticism and answer some tough questions.
I would never root for someone to fail. Oh god, not me. CU not living up to the monumental expectations and pressure that Deion and his team have put on themselves to win this year would be awful. So awful. I’d hate to see Deion and his kids have to go through that. I mean can you imagine? Having to answer questions from the media after a loss? A big loss at that? After a game they were expected to win? Gosh, I’d hate to see that. I’d HATE to see how him and Shedeur would react to those kinds of questions. It’d be so unfair for folks to be critical after something like that happens. I mean let’s let these guys drive home in their $200,000 cars and go back to their multimillion dollar mansions in peace for goodness sake!
Hey Deion, to cap this off, I really appreciate you letting me ask these questions. I know I implied I’d only ask one, but I ended up asking a few…I hope that’s ok. I just hope I can kiss your ass enough this season for you to let me keep asking you these types of questions. Jeez, that’d be really swell if you allowed me to keep asking questions of you.
You’re the best Prime Time. I really hope you don’t fail this year.
I really hope that doesn’t happen.
I would be absolutely devastated if your team wasn’t very good this year.
Disgusted even.
Disgusted and devastated.
Oh boy, I hope that doesn’t happen to you.
I really really really hope that doesn’t happen.
Good luck tomorrow Deion. Again, I really hope this doesn’t go bad for you.
-Mustache Man
