What can’t this kid do???
Or in this case, what can’t Bronny James doo-doo?
NBA Summer League phenom Bronny James has done it again folks. After making history in his Summer League debut with 4 points on 2-9 shooting, and following it up with another incredible performance of 3 points on 1-3 shooting in 29 minutes, it’s hard not to ponder the question: Is the son of Lebron James destined for greatness? Is his 4 year, $7.9M deal the best bargain for any player in NBA history? How did this kid fall all the way to 55th in the draft?!? He averaged nearly 5 points per game in college for god sakes! Open your eyes people!
This obviously isn’t nepotism. Bronny DESERVES this opportunity. Just because he has the last name “James” on the back of his jersey doesn’t mean he’s getting any special treatment…
So what Isaiah Wong was the ACC Player of the Year and led his team to the Final Four? Bronny actually had to fight for what he’s gotten. You think it was easy to break the rotation on last years USC team that went 15-18? You think Bronny was just given 4.8 PTS, 2.1 AST, and 2.8 REB per game? On 36.6% from the field and 26.7% from three? Playing for one of the worst teams in the Pac-12? Hell no. Bronny EARNED that shit.
And when I didn’t think Bronny James could impress any more, he somehow raises the bar.
It turns out, Bronny’s shits are the shit. They don’t smell! Now I’m not just making stuff up here people. Loot Sports has a reliable source inside the Lakers Summer League locker room that confirmed it. Apparently after his 2nd Summer League game, where he basically looked like the second coming of his dad mixed with Jesus Christ, Bronny took the biggest, most beautiful, least messy poop any 2nd round draft pick has ever taken. A player in the locker room who asked not to be named said, and I quote:
“Bronny poops like he’s not afraid of the moment. You can tell he belongs in this league just based on the smell of his shits. It’s like he walked in the stall, didn’t bother to even sit down, sprayed Febreeze, and left. The kid is special.”
I mean what else can you say about this kid! Truly a remarkable talent.
-Mustache Man
