Gimme The Loot (Wild Card Weekend)

We see them every year, and we call them for what they are: they’re “Frauds”. As legitimate as the OJ verdict, or pineapple on pizza, frauds showing up to the NFL playoffs is not new or noteworthy. Frauds are a constant, typically doing their best to disguise as contenders. So it’s very rare we get to see not one, but TWO of these (actual) pretenders, matching up against each other on Wild Card weekend. Real or fake, there is always an angle to make money in sports. So read on below to learn how you can do that:

The pick:
Giants at Vikings (OVER 48)

The scoop:
When these two teams met in Week 16, the Vikings pulled out a late, 27-24 win. That’s 51 points, for anyone keeping track at home. Already from a baseline standpoint, you have proof of concept that these teams are capable of going above the current total (48) in this matchup.

But that’s one game – what about the bigger picture? The Giants and Vikings BOTH field bottom 10 NFL defenses, the Giants are 25th (358.2 YPG), the Vikings *31st (388.2).

*How a 12-5 team can rank THIRTY-FIRST in total defense is still mind-blowing to me. That’s probably why they have a negative points differential, but I’ll digress…

The fact that these two teams are even IN the playoffs is a testament to competent offensive play. It’s true that neither Daniel Jones, nor alter-ego Danny Dimes, scares you, but he still led the Gmen to 445 total yards of offense against this same Vikings team 4-weeks ago. That was their season high! If not for two turnovers inside of the Vikings 25-yard line, they probably could have won the game (and, more importantly for the purpose of this article – scored MORE POINTS).

When Minnesota has the ball, do you have any doubt this team won’t hold up their end of the bargain? Dalvin Cook will feast against the Giants terrible rush defense (31st in NFL, 5.2 YPC). And there’s little debate that Justin Jefferson is the game’s best WR; he’s going to get his as well. Lastly, and arguably most importantly, let’s address the elephant in the room. This game kicks of at 3:30pm local Central time. That should be early enough for Kirk Cousins to at least have a monster 1st half, before the sun goes down and the primetime jinx kicks in.

Why is this 2023’s Fraud Bowl of the century? The stats don’t lie – it’s the Defenses who have been letting their teams down all season long. Take the OVER in this one, while you can still get it at 48. Then sit back, enjoy Wild Card Weekend, and let’s get that Loot.

*The Final score prediction: Vikings 30-24
**(Spoiler alert: these don’t miss) 

-GoT Chubb

Meet the writer:

Growing up in New Jersey a lifelong Jets fan, Connor (‘GoT Chubb’) Hubschman is no stranger to suffering. He also knows what’s it’s like to be bullied by neighborhood kids whose Giants were in the process of winning two Super Bowls.

While not watching College football or the Jets, you can typically find GoT Chubb checking on his fantasy teams (all of which are named House Lannister), as well as feeding money back into his drained sports gambling accounts. Boasting a lifetime win percentage of 26%, “Inverse Connor” has been gaining steam to replace “Inverse Cramer” as one of the most reliable ways to earn a living in the year 2023.

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