Why Do Colorado Schools Suck So Much At Football?

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As someone who went to CSU, I enjoy the CU Buffs being bad at football. It’s fun for me. I enjoy laughing at their misery.

However, I can’t help but wonder why?

Boulder should be a dream destination for college football players. It’s an awesome college town, it has beautiful athletic facilities, and you can smoke all the weed you want.

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Smack dab in the middle of California and Texas, the University of Colorado should realistically be one of the top destinations in the country for kids looking to play away from home. It’s embarrassing what thier football program has become.

After losing Head Coach Mel Tucker to Michigan State (showing just how far down the competitive ladder CU has fallen), CU inexplicably handed the keys to the program, and a shitload of cash, to Karl Dorrell. An awful decision by Athletic Director Rick George that looks worse by the day. Dorrell has coached poorly, has recruited poorly, and has put CU in an impossible situation, after giving him such a head scratching contract with a very coach friendly buyout. You can find those details here.

After an 0-3 start where CU hasn’t looked even remotely competitive (against very mediocre competition), the Buffs are in major trouble. Not just this year, but for the foreseeable future.

Again, I’m not mad about how, or why, the CU football program has shot itself in the foot. It actually fills me with glee to see the douchebags that go to Boulder suffer. Considering half the kids that go to school at CU are from Southern California, they’re probably all USC fans anyways. Fuck ’em.

But why does CSU have to be just as pathetic?

Yes, CSU is the state school. And yes, the Rams reside in a less prominent conference, playing easier competition on a week to week basis, but let’s not pretend that CSU has never been good at football. The 90’s were the prime of Colorado State football under Sonny Lubick, competing in the Holiday Bowl 3 times in 4 years. The Rams were a small school power, making bowl games in 9 out of 11 years under Lubick.

Since then, however, it’s been mostly a failure.

CSU had minor success under Jim McElwain, until he took the job at Florida and proceeded to fuck a shark.

Jim McElwain fucking a shark

McElwain claims it wasn’t him, but we know it was you Jim…

And then CSU moved onto the Mike Bobo era that saw great recruiting which resulted in the Rams producing a solid amount of NFL talent. Unfortunately that didn’t translate as well to the field, where CSU produced a couple of good years but nothing to write home about.

And just as CSU had built a brand new on-campus stadium, giving them arguably the best facilities of any non Power 5 team in the country, Athletic Director Joe Parker goes and hires this fuckin guy…

Steve Addazio’s short two year run as Head Coach of the CSU football team can only be described in one way: A complete disaster.

If you want to learn more about how big of a doofus the worst coach in CSU history was, read what i wrote here.

So here we are, in the year 2022, and the CSU Rams sit at 0-3 under first year head coach Jay Norvell.

The good news? Norvell seems like a bright guy with a good staff who has recruited well in his short time so far in Fort Collins.

The bad news? CSU is 0-3 and hasn’t looked competitive in any of their first 3 games. Only time will tell how this new hire plays out for the Rams.

Both Boulder and Fort Collins are awesome college towns. They both sit smack dab in the middle of recruiting hotbeds. CU has the history and scenery, while CSU has massive advantages over almost every other team they compete with. There’s no reason these two schools should be this bad at football.

But they are.

And it’s a damn shame, especially considering how the college football landscape is changing. It’s looking more and more like the SEC and Big Ten are forming super-conferences, leaving the remaining teams left in the Pac-12, Mountain West, Big-12, etc…on the outside looking in.

So where does that leave CU and CSU?

Well no one can be sure, but I do know this:

CU and CSU chose the absolute wrong time to suck at football.

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