I’m not gonna lie and tell you I’m the biggest hockey fan in the world.
In general, I’m a, “If the Avalanche are in the playoffs I’ll turn the game on” kinda guy. What can I say, the NBA has my heart. I’m certain that if I somehow made time for both the NHL and NBA, my girlfriend would immediately break up with me.
So with the Heat and Celtics bricking their way to a 93-80 Boston win, I switch over to the ice.
I’m not completely oblivious.
I know that Blues fans are the scum of the earth. I know that Nazem Kadri didn’t do anything wrong. I’m aware of things.
So when I turn on Game 5 between the Avs and the Blues, with Colorado on the brink of advancing to the next round, I want to see how this thing plays out with 3 minutes left and the game tied at 3-3.
10 seconds later, I witness magic.
That was absolutely bonkers.
The football guy in me immediately thinks Nathan MacKinnon would be the best running back the NFL has ever seen. When I saw hats on the ice I realized it was his third goal of the game. I found myself looking at the TV struck with awe, in amazement at something I don’t totally understand. I felt like I was watching something life-changing. “Is this how people get hooked on hockey?” I thought to myself. “They see one play that defies physics and it changes everything they know about sports?”
Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.
Two minutes later the Blues scored, sending the game into overtime. A few minutes into OT, St. Louis extended the series to a 6th game. It was then I remembered…
I’m bad luck.
I turn on an Avalanche game, they lose.
Last year, I started watching hockey when the Avs and the Vegas Golden Knights were tied 2-2 in the second round. Vegas won the series 4-2.
The year before that, I started watching hockey when Colorado was up against the Dallas Stars in Game 7 of the 2nd round. The Stars won in OT.
I’m sorry.
It’s obvious I’m the reason.
And so today, I make a promise:
I will not watch the remainder of the Stanley Cup Playoffs.
To Denver City Council, I suggest you start planning the parade now. I refuse to continue depriving the city I love from this incredible team winning the cup.
I wish it didn’t have to happen this way, as I make this sacrifice with a heavy heart.
I will continue paying attention from afar, watching every game of the NBA playoffs. Blowout after blowout. No Nuggets. No Giannis. I won’t enjoy it.
But I do this for you, the true hockey fan.
You’re welcome.
