The Denver Nuggets Are Cursed

Oh No Omg GIF by Bounce

Michael Porter Jr’s back problems have once again resurfaced. This will be his third back surgery before the age of 24. A massive blow to the Nuggets who were counting on the newly signed MPJ to be Denver’s third star behind Nikola Jokic and Jamal Murray.

The real story here though:

The Denver Nuggets are cursed.

scared tim burton GIF by O&O, Inc

How or why remains a mystery, but it’s undeniable the Nuggets have had a spell cast on them by someone/something practicing the dark arts.

Is it this man that’s cursing us?

Harry Potter No GIF

Or maybe it’s this guy?

the joker GIF

I mean it’d make sense, right? Our best player stole his nickname…It’s kind of a no-no to steal someone’s name like that. Plus, the Joker doesn’t seem like someone to let something like this go.

Denver Nuggets Joker Movie GIF by The Ringer

Yikes.

OR, and hear me out, this guy did us in.

Barack Obama Reaction GIF

Unlikely, but I wouldn’t put it past the guy.

thanks obama GIF

Whoever’s casting this spell on the Nuggets needs to be brought down.

Let’s quickly run over the series of events leading to this conclusion:

4/12/2021 – Jamal Murray tears his ACL in the closing minutes of a loss in San Francisco against the Golden State Warriors.

After trading for Aaron Gordon a few weeks prior the Nuggets, with a starting 5 of Jamal Murray, Will Barton, Michael Porter Jr., Aaron Gordon, and Nikola Jokic, looked prime for their first championship run in franchise history. In the few weeks before Murray’s injury, the Nuggets starting 5 had the best +/- of any starting unit in the NBA. That group had a +18.5 net rating, meaning they were outscoring opponents by an average of 18.5 points when all on the floor together at the same time. After Jamal Murray went down, Denver’s title hopes blew up in their face. The best case scenario is that he’ll be back for the final third of this season. This gives us hope. But be careful with hope. It’s a dangerous thing to have if you’re a Nuggets fan.

11/6/2021 – Michael Porter Jr. does this:

After 3 weeks with no update we learned this week that MPJ is having his third back surgery, most likely ending his season.

5 years, $172 million dollars.

That’s the max contract the Nuggets signed MPJ to this offseason. The first year of the deal doesn’t kick in until next year, but the fact this back issue hasn’t gone away for him is concerning to say the least. Both in the present and the future.

Teams were scared to draft MPJ after a Clippers doctor came out before the 2018 draft and said Porter Jr. would never play again. Because of this, arguably the most talented player in that years draft class fell all the way down to pick #14 and right into the Denver Nuggets lap. After sitting out a year to heal from his second back surgery, MPJ played limited minutes his rookie year but showed promise of being an elite scorer. His coming out moment came in the bubble.

After securing his spot in the starting lineup at the end of the 2020 shortened season, MPJ showed everyone his potential last year, having one of the most efficient shooting seasons in NBA history.

So going into this year, despite waiting on a rehabbing Jamal Murray, the Nuggets looked to still be fully in their contention window.

Unfortunately, they’re cursed.

11/24/2021

Sarcastic Season 2 GIF by Friends

P.J. Dozier is the Nuggets “do-it-all” guy. He’s probably Denver’s second best defender behind Aaron Gordon, as he has shown he can lock down everyone from Point Guards to Power Forwards. Although he was having a tough shooting year up to this point, P.J. was the perfect 6th man for this squad.

That’s all over now. He’s done for the year.

I’ll repeat – The Denver Nuggets are cursed.

Get Seth Meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth Meyers

Okay, okay, I’ll stop harping on it.

Let’s look at a positive for a second:

At least nothing will happen to Bones!

The promising young rookie absolutely showed out in a dominating performance against the Miami Heat on Monday.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand

Happy Andy Samberg GIF

This season sucks.

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