I want to share a few things I learned about the 76ers during these last few games:
- Joel Embiid is suuuuuuuuch a bitch.
I’m sorry, but if you’re 7 foot whatever, one of the most dominant players on the planet, and carry yourself the way Joel Embiid carries himself (like an asshole), you can’t also be the biggest baby on the court. This is Game 7 Joel. Flailing like a salmon jumping upstream may work in the regular season, but you look like such a fuckin diva trying to get calls like that in a win or go home scenario. How much time does this man spend on the floor? It’s clear to me he’s been watching way too much Anthony Davis. I personally don’t see how these guys are gonna make it past age 30 playing like this.
2. Doc Rivers might be the most overrated coach of all time.
What has Doc Rivers done as a coach that makes him so respected across the league? Please, someone enlighten me. Yes he won a title in Boston with a prime Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen, but I’m sorry, what coach wouldn’t have won a title with that group? They were absolutely stacked. All he’s done since then is have really disappointing playoff runs with really talented teams. I don’t know, I guess I just don’t get the hype around this man.
3. Ben Simmons is done in Philadelphia.
He has to be, right? The Process is complete, and it was a complete and utter failure. Ben Simmons has the yips, plain and simple. He can’t shoot outside of 2 feet from the basket, and tonight he proved incapable of even doing that. He very clearly needs a change of scenery.
Which brings me to my solution.
Trade Ben Simmons to Portland for Damian Lillard.
To me, it’s so obvious. I feel like writing about it is going to jinx it. I mean I don’t really care if it happens or not, I’m just sayin.
For those of you who don’t see it, hear me out.
Both players provide exactly what the other team needs. Portland just came off a 1st round loss to a Denver Nuggets team without Jamal Murray. The biggest reason being their glaring holes on the defensive end. The 76ers on the other hand couldn’t buy a bucket from their Point Guard position in the final games of their series against the Hawks. Obviously one series loss for two franchises doesn’t normally shift the tectonic plates of the NBA, but these losses should. This wasn’t only a disaster for two teams with championship aspirations, both circumstances provided clarity on what we all knew deep down to be true.
On one hand you have the Portland Trailblazers. Dame Time aside, this team’s been a mess all year. Defensively, they were absolutely atrocious.
On the other side, Philadelphia has been dominant defensively, led by Ben Simmons who is terrific on that end. But him and Embiid never gelled, even as they worked their way to the #1 seed in the East.
A straight Damian Lillard for Ben Simmons deal is just what the doctor ordered.
In Dame, Philly would be getting a bonafide bucket getter at the Point Guard spot. Something they’ve been starving for. Their backcourt defense would obviously suffer, but you still have Embiid protecting the rim and two very good perimeter defenders in Thybull and Maxey to pick up the slack. Not to mention Lillard would give them the clear leader of that locker room, something they desperately need.
For Portland, you’re getting to start over with a player you can build your team around. So what Ben Simmons can’t shoot? He literally dominates every other facet of the game. Keep CJ McCollum around and surround him with other shooters, and all of a sudden, despite losing one of the best scorers in the NBA, you still have a dynamic offense. But this time you also have a perennial DPOY candidate anchoring your defense.
Have Philly throw in a pick or two (out of respect for Dame), and I don’t see who says no to this deal.
-MustacheMan
